Best Insults Ever

Life without bad words is not a proper life, right? Sometimes the person in front of us is so annoying that some good insults are a must. They vary from the most basic one to those that sound almost appropriate yet deliver the insult properly. The mastery of verbal slaps in the face has grown a lot and we are now offering you the opportunity to determine the best insults ever. Look through the chart and pick the one that sounds the best to you, then vote for it. Post a comment describing your passion for that particular phrase and give advice to the others!

1
You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
2
You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen.
3
You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.
4
Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
5
Your family tree is a cactus, because everybody on it is a prick.
6
You are so ugly that when your mama dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
7
If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
8
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to poison the tea.
9
It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
10
Your so ugly when you popped out the doctor said aww what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it
11
You were picking up trash yesterday but you forgot to pick up one thing: your skills
12
Hey, you have something on your chin...3rd one down.
13
We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.
14
I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.
15
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a smarter comeback than what you just said.
16
You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit.
17
If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
18
Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
19
I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
20
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake a sleeping bag.
21
Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example
22
(Phone ringing)... Excuse me it's your village, they want their idiot back
23
Here's 20 cents, call all your friends and give me back the change.
24
Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
25
The only positive thing about you is your HIV status.
26
You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
27
Why don't you check up on eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
28
Do you still love nature....despite what it did to you?
29
With a face like yours, I wish I was blind.
30
Stop eating that pig! That's cannibalism!
31
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.
32
Your mamma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones.
33
When you were born, the police arrested your dad, the doctor slapped your mom, animal control euthanized your brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved your life.
34
Dumbass.
35
Please, I could remove 90% of your 'beauty' with a tissue